January 2009
28 posts
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I Don't Shit Like This: The Diet
I try to avoid the whole New Year’s resolution scene, but it’s a known fact that I could lose some pounds. Choosing to eat healthier and using my gym membership would seem like the route to go, but I’m a sucker for a good fad diet.
That is why I am going to be the initial test subject for the DLC’s “I Don’t Shit Like This” weight loss plan. ...
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Watch
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WTF is wrong with you people?
Last week, I went to get a patch of toilet paper in a work stall to wipe down the seat prior to doing my business. The moment my hand hit the roll, I felt something greasy and improper. I looked at the roll not knowing what the hell it was. After 5 minutes of hand scrubbing, I just convinced myself it was “lip balm,” and that is how I got through touching my sandwich at lunch with my bare...
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2009 Holiday Schedule
It was recently brought to my attention that KC is moving the fabulous St Patrick’s Day Parade from downtown to Westport. I’m kind of torn on the issue. On the one hand, I will not have to risk getting stuck in traffic leaving the parade to get to the booze. On the other hand, a lot of the d-bags are likely to stay in Westport rather than the P&L where they no doubt would have...
“How would you like to dominate the bowels of Company X employees by entering...”
– my wife
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Soulcrate Music - I Shit On Grieves
This will do...
At least she didn't drop me off
There’s something very emasculating about telling a co-worker that you need to leave early so you can take your mom’s car back to her. Almost as emasculating as driving a car for a week and a half with various bumper stickers and a golden stitch in the rearview.
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My days are numbered
In case you haven’t been paying attention, I have a blog on the side called Hot Blog on a Stick. It’s food specific and slightly homoerotic.
I want to launch a series of posts for the Hot Blog, and I’m looking for help from the likes of yous. Owen at the Pitch’s Fat City has been working on his Top Ten Kansas City Foods To Eat Before You Die. I would like to...
Do you know what the internet needs more of?
Pictures of Viggo Mortensen’s tail.
Where are they? Both Google and Yahoo searches came up blank. Who can help me out here? My slide show isn’t going to fill itself.
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WatchMy daughter doing her best Johnnie Morton impression…complete with a load of white stuff to the mouth.
Another Body Murdered
catbird:
Related to the last post, here’s that Soundtrack, downloadable in its entirety: http://research.isaacsconsulting.com/music/JudgementNight/ and a reminder of the team-ups, which couldn’t have been born anywhere besides deep inside the producers’ bongs:
House of Pain/Helmet
De La Soul/Teenage Fanclub
Run DMC/Living Colour
Onyx*/Biohazard
Ice-T/Slayer
Boo Yaa Tribe/Faith No More
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Monkeyroll
Since BlogRolling is sucking a fat one, I have put the non-Tumblr roll on hiatus until a better, editable solution presents itself. In its place, I will be presenting some of my favorite blogs in primate form.
A decision has been made
The real monkey doing the Rick Flair impression Flip Mino HD should be arriving on Wednesday - Friday of next week. Interestingly enough, the printing is done by Cafe Press where you can stock up on Obama t-shirts or Twilight fan-designed merchandise.
Also, free UPS ground shipping after the nail you with tax.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-1-4) →
Blink-182 (31)
TV on the Radio (21)
Sublime (14)
MGMT (13)
dan savage (11)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
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The government wants me to be broke or my child...
So I was just reading this morning on Baby Cheapskate and then on the LA Times that on February 10th the government will be enforcing the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA). The rough and dirty of it is that all clothing, toys, etc designed for those humans 12 and under are required to be tested for lead and phthalates, which are used to make plastics more pliable. This applies to...
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Flipping Out
So I’ve decided to plunk down a portion of my Christmas cash on getting a Flip Mino HD. I’ve been looking at these for a while and have decided just to jump at it before I get the bill for my car.
I decided to get the HD over the regular Flip Mino based off the recommendation of Ramsey, who received his own over the holidays. But the one thing I can’t decide on what I want to...
Peep the new theme
A case of canned Fat Tire and some Wii prevented me from getting to a post for today. The hours I put in yesterday working on the new layout should make up for it.
New Beginnings
Me: What is that on her lip?
Wife: (speaking to child) Do you have a fuzzy on your lip?
Me: (swipe finger across child's mouth) Yep
Me: (smearing child's booger into my wife's palm) Happy New Year!
Wife: You're the one next to box of Kleenex...
