January 2010
27 posts
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My last post of 2009. I’m off to enjoy a great evening at McFadden’s. Or not.
December 2009
14 posts
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2 Cover Stories, 1 Year →
Had quite a few of my tweets featured in Ink’s “Our Year in Tweets” cover story. That makes two cover stories I’ve been in with no cover. Just guessing I won’t land the privilege until they run a story on fat guys or metro hot dog consumption, which don’t necessarily need to be mutually exclusive.
Feel free to follow me, but be prepared for at least one...
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Ho ho ho, you're a d-bag
Due to my wife’s notoriously cheap lifestyle and my thirst to use trendy internet sites, we found ourselves inside 1154 Lill Studio on the Plaza. I was prepared to be bored out of my fucking mind while my wife built a custom handbag, but the shopping gods were smiling down on me.
According to my nearby companions, a woman in the black Benz bumped into the silver car multiple times as she...
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Wife: So we were making our ornaments this morning, and I couldn't find the glue. So I left and your daughter ate an entire spoonful of cinnamon.
Me: Awesome.
Wife: Yeah. She wasn't breathing for a second and then I was showing her to spit.
Me: Did you get the video camera?
Wife: No, she wasn't breathing. I tried to get her to drink something.
Me: Do you know how many people on the internet can't do that?
Wife: She would have made you proud then. She really didn't spit anything out.
Me: At least her poo should smell good today.
“I don’t know that steroids make you hit it longer.”
– Tony Kornheiser regarding the Tiger Woods story. Are we talking golf or getting some strange?
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Best Twitter Application Ever →
I’m never going to be able to stop laughing