I Don’t Shit Like This: The Diet
I try to avoid the whole New Year’s resolution scene, but it’s a known fact that I could lose some pounds. Choosing to eat healthier and using my gym membership would seem like the route to go, but I’m a sucker for a good fad diet.
That is why I am going to be the initial test subject for the DLC’s “I Don’t Shit Like This” weight loss plan. There’s no exercise. I can eat what I normally do. The only stipulation is that you mix laxatives into your food…sort of like a bulimia for your anus.
My program will start this Wednesday, after completion of some prior obligations. Over the next two days, I will be getting fitted for my traveling IV unit to help combat the dehydration, as well as training my bowel control against high levels of pressure. The 30-minute drive into work each morning will likely involve me doing my best Ultimate Warrior impression…
